Make Money with a Combination of Online Surveys, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Gmail, Google Adsense, Squeeze Pages, and the Tinder Dating App

Making money requires a combination of techniques, skills, applications, developmental aids, supplemental files, and occasionally some antihistamines. This is definitely the case when it comes to my ultra-secret formula for making money online using an extravagant conglomeration of online surveys, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Gmail, Google Adsense, squeeze pages, and the Tinder dating app.

Now before I get into the nitty-gritty as to how this system works, let me first tell you that I have consistently made money with this system, to the tune of $56,781.52, TO THE PENNY, every single day that I have implemented it. This flies in the face of all statistical possibilities, but yet I have done it. Hey, I don’t know how it all works out like that, I’m just glad to be counting those fat stacks of daily cash.

Anyway, here’s how the system works: First, you download the Tinder app and begin sending messages to different potential dates. Send about 1,500 messages per day. Send them to an online survey site that you set up through Survey Monkey, where you ask them questions about how much money they would like to make in the next 24 hours. Only focus on the people that want to make more than $1,000. Make sure that you include a survey question that asks them for their email address. Send those people an email through an anonymous Gmail account that you’ll set up, letting them know that they can claim their $1,000-plus prize if they simply add you as a contact on LinkedIn. Once they add you as a contact, use LinkedIn’s messaging system to request that they tweet about your LinkedIn profile to all of their followers on Twitter as a final step before they can claim their $1,000 prize.

When they tweet about your LinkedIn profile, make sure that they include a link to your Facebook profile page, on which you will put the URL to your squeeze page. Once visitors go to your Facebook profile and then click on your squeeze page link, they will arrive on a landing page that has at least 25 Adsense ad units on it. They will randomly click around in a frantic search for some kind of navigational aids, thus earning you thousands of dollars in Adsense clicks per day!!!

If you can’t see the simplicity of this cash-generating system, you’re not looking hard enough. Any time you need a quick and easy way to generate more money in a day than most people make in a year, don’t hesitate to use this system at your leisure. And just think…I’ve given it to you here, completely free of charge. But don’t worry…I’m going to start charging the stragglers $997 after midnight tonight.

Make So Much Money Online That You Vomit $100 Bills!!!

Tired of just making money online with no frills, thrills, or chills? Do you want to know what it's like to have a blog moneymaking extravaganza of monsoonish cash rolling in to your life and literally knocking you flat on your back with a thunderous crash of eardrum-shattering profit-pulling multimillionaire-making typhoonish tsunamish abundance??? Then get in on my plethora of money making secrets. One only has to peruse my blog archives to realize the ridiculous amount of cash manufacturing secrets that are stored in this treasure trove of online revenue generation. Is this blatant self-promotion? Heck yeah. That's how we internet marketers make things happen.

So whether it's making money with AdWords, or using StumbleUpon to make money, or even tweeting yourself to near-insanity while making money with Twitter, you have found the one-stop shop for all of your online education on how to be an internet marketing wondermoneymaker. You wanna know how to keyword stuff? You wanna understand the difference between black hat and white hat techniques? What about top hat techniques? See, you don't even know about that one, do you? That's because the top hat set of SEO strategies is only reserved for the most elite of SEOers. That's a whole other post, for another time. In fact, I may only release those techniques to my current list of 4,563,423,677.33333 RSS subscribers. Who else do you know would anchor the term 4,563,423,677.33333?

So at the end of the day, the only reason why I'm going through this whole promotion is to prove to you that if you stick with the money making techniques I teach, you will eventually make so much money that you will literally vomit $100 bills. Where else can you learn cash-generating techniques that make even your puke worth money? Nuff said.

Using Long Tail Keywords to Make Money Online

Keyword research is an absolute must if you want to make big money online. Using the right type of keyword research is a key component of search engine optimization (SEO). There are different types of keywords, but they fall into five main categories:

(1) Keywords that are directly related to and contain your topic (short tail keywords),

(2) Keywords that are somewhat related to your topic but don't necessarily directly mention your topic (long tail keywords),

(3) Keywords that once were thought to be related to your topic (dog tail keywords),

(4) Keywords that are looking for a topic (whale tail keywords), and

(5) Keywords that are no longer keywords at all (blank tail keywords).

As you can see, this is a vast subject, so we will stick with two of the most profitable types of keywords, the short tail and long tail keywords.

Short tail keywords are a given. They are simply the exact word for whatever someone may be searching for on the internet. If someone was looking for a cell phone to buy, a short tail keyword that they might type into a search engine is "cell phone"; a pretty obvious choice. But the long tail keywords, however, are much more profitable, because they tell the search engine that you REALLY know your stuff.

To come up with some long tail keywords, it will take some serious brainstorming. It's not the easiest internet marketing strategy to implement, but nonetheless, it can yield some serious multiple revenue streams once you take advantage of it.

So how do you come up with long tail keywords? A good (and almost obvious) starting point would be to think of any type of thing that has a long tail. When you do this, several different types of animals should immediately come to mind. My first thought was the monkey. It has quite a long and useful tail, which is actually also known as a prehensile tail. There are several ideas that can come to your mind to monetize monkeys. You can do a monkey training website, or even a site about how to make money with Jane Goodall. The possibilities are truly endless!

Other long tail keywords that can get top billing in the search engines include lizards, rats, alligators, squirrels, and even cats. There are a ton of associate programs and affiliate networks that offer money making products for these keywords. Use caution, however: Only stick to animals that truly have long tails, not just any kind of tail. Bobcats just recently got the Google slap due to the shortness of their tails.

Probably one of the most solid money makers I know of is the snake. If you really think about it, the snake is almost entirely one big tail. How long is the snake's tail? Nobody really knows...it would almost seem like the tail begins as soon as the head stops. But does that mean that a snake has no neck? As you can see, these questions could go on and on...but for the sake of this post, just keep in mind that "snake" as a keyword is a long tail money maker for sure.

I have given you guys only a small sample of the blog monetization potential that is available using long tail keywords. Now is the time for you to take action and put these wealth building, money making secrets to work. All hail the long tail!

Make Money Online with Web 2.0, Web 3.0, Web 4.5, and Web 347.2

Make Money Online Using Web 2.0 and WAYYY More...


Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past two years, you should know that the hottest way to make money online is with all of the new Web 2.0 technologies, such as social media marketing. If you can't Stumble Upon a way to Digg through what you've Reddit, then you'll Furl on some serious Del.icio.us Technorati-cal ways to Sphinn your Propeller.


Although I have done previous posts on some classical methods like using eBay to make money, there are tons of opportunities to make money online with some of the newer technologies that are available, a la Web 2.0. That's right, if you ain't hip to the newest Wordpress themes and plugins that are available, you don't know squat about making money on the internet. As a matter of fact, I almost feel like a pathetic doofus for using a Blogspot blog because they're so passe. I am obviously not cool enough yet to rake in the dough with the big dogs, so I'll just wallow in my Web 0.5 sorrow.


Sometimes when I think about the way that Web 2.0 has revolutionized internet marketing, I get a little peeved because I feel like I just can't catch up with all the new blogging resources that are available. So, instead of trying to follow the path that the Web 2.0'ers have made, I'm blazing my own trail--that's right, I'm kicking it up a notch like Emeril.


Make Money Online with Web 3.0--Screw Web 2.0!!!


One of the first monetization models I'll be rolling out is...yes, none other than Web 3.0. Just as Web 2.0 is all about social bookmarking, Web 3.0 is about social book-binding. The way it works is simple: You can become a bookbinding vendor for all of your friends' writing projects! Many of us know people who are trying to earn extra income through writing books, but they lack the technical expertise to get the job done. But that's where you come in. You'll take whatever writing project they have, get it paginated and saddle-stitched in two shakes of a lamb's tail, and the next thing you know, you're creating yet another stream of income for yourself!

Make Money Online with Web 4.5--Another Step Forward

Just like Web 3.0 is a model that blows the doors off of Web 2.0, I have actually unearthed a money making method known as Web 4.5--get ready now, because here's where the true internet marketing ninjas get their kicks.

For this reason, I can only reveal a very minute detail about Web 4.5, and it's simply this: Web 4.5 is such an improvement on Web 2.0, that it's actually DOUBLE of what Web 2.0 is, plus an extra 0.5 on top of it! This guarantees you to have double the online profits you would normally have. And in the case of internet marketing gurus like myself, that equals to about half of America's total Gross National Product.

But I haven't even enlightened you to one of the true money making strategies that have propelled me to online revenue generation greatness. It's the ultimate tool in my arsenal...and I call it:

Web 347.2!!!

Making money online with Web 347.2 is reserved for the most elite internet marketers only. You may find hints of it in various ebooks being sold on eBay, or in the latest affiliate program. Social media marketing can't even touch what these money making techniques can to. They are as unstable as plutonium, yet subtle as the wind. Put these strategies into the wrong hands, and you've got yourself a nuclear fallout. This is why I cannot disclose these money making secrets on this post. Just suffice it to say...they're bad to the bone. The world is simply not ready yet.

So, for the general safety and welfare of the public, I will stick to the strategies that employ Web 4.5 and below to make money online. Maybe one day society will have advanced enough for me to reveal them, but until them, I will continue to rake in the online profits behind the curtain.

Make $5,472.97 a Day Using the Inverse Funnel Cake System!

Make Money with the Inverse Funnel Cake System

Take a good look at the image above.

Now take another good look.

Just a funnel cake, you say. An American favorite at carnivals, ballparks and fairs. The cheap fodder of festival folklore.

To the untrained eye, that would be an obvious assumption.

But for those of us who know how to make money with MacGyver-esque skills, the funnel cake you see above is your ticket to unimaginable wealth.

You see, there is a little-known money making system known as the Inverse Funnel Cake System. This system is not to be confused with any reverse-funnel systems that may be out on the market...this one actually uses real funnel cake to rake in thousands of dollars of profits per day!!!

The premise is simple, but powerful; all you have to do is follow the three steps below:

Step One: Hire a team of 500 like-minded entrepreneurs, each with their own funnel cake business.

Step Two: Send those bad boys out into the field!!! Charge a $1,000 placement fee to put them in the most prime carnival locations across the country.

Step Three: Charge a 5% royalty for every funnel cake sold...you've just made yourself a multi-millionaire, my friend! End of story!

So you see, your options are not just limited to making money online. You can use an all-American favorite to pull in a plethora of prodigious profits as well!

You Have Just Entered Moneytown - - Population: Me

There's an old saying that says if you want to be successful at something (especially making money online), find someone who is already successful at it and simply copy what they did, and you should get the same results.

That works in most cases...but when you're a money making genius such as myself, it's almost impossible to duplicate exactly what I do; there's simply too many mental gymnastics involved for the average lay-person to keep up.

So, I have tried to simplify the ultra-complex processes and procedures that I employ and boil my thousands of money-making ideas down to a very straightforward formula that anyone can use to create thousands, if not MILLIONS, of dollars in mere seconds online. I call this method the Cash-Accelerating Systematic Hyper-Cash Overdrive Wondermoneymaker, or C.A.S.H. C.O.W. for short. I have outlined it below in my three-step process:

Step 1: Go to Genealogy.com and change your ancestry. Choose from among the Vanderbilts, Rothschilds, or Rockefellers.

Step 2: As soon as Step 1 has been completed, you're already seriously in the money. As a matter of fact, I'm going to stop right there. That's really all you need; a basic internet connection and a complete change of your family lineage. Nothing could be simpler.

Just think; this is only one example of my power-packed plethora of profit-pulling principles...feel free to look at the archives from 2007 as well as January of this year for more examples of the super-genius money making techniques that I have perfected. Also, keep tuning in for more money making methodologies in future posts--if you're not a multi-billionaire internet marketing mogul such as myself, you literally can't afford to miss it.

5 Reasons Why Your Blog Sucks and Won't Make Any Money and My Blog Rocks and Will Make Millions

Anyone can put some crappy blog together, hoping that they will make tons of money through different ad networks, affiliate marketing, etc. But it takes more than just a crappy blog, a dollar and a dream to make tons of money blogging. You have to have a blog that ROCKS, and at least a MILLION dollars and a dream.

So here's the five main reasons why your blog probably sucks and mine rocks...hopefully you'll learn from them and use them to change your evil ways:

1. Because I said so. This is the true definition of an authority site. Your blog sucks because I said it does, and mine rocks because I said it does. All the rest is just trivial details, but please read on anyway.

2. You don't link gratuitously to http://steadyphil.blogspot.com.

3. You don't link even more gratuitously to ProBlogger and Perry Marshall. Haven't you learned anything by now? Read up on my posts about the benefits of linking to ProBlogger and Perry Marshall.

4. You haven't employed the I. D.O.N.'T. S.U.C.K. method of making money online. Consequently, you DO suck. Come on, people...Once again, this is not rocket math.

5. You don't deep link enough to your previous posts. I have subtly but yet successfully linked to a butt-load of my earlier posts in this small but power-packed post.

Even though your blog sucks, I would still encourage you to use the techniques I have described above to maybe improve that hopeless pile of crap you're calling a "make money online blog". And when you do, please link to me so that I can revel in my money making mastery!!!

Make Barrels of Money Clipping Coupons

Grab the scissors and get ready to ROCK. You don't even know making money until you know how to execute this cash-flow-producing stealth maneuver.

You can bring in TONS of cash through a little-known technique known as coupon-clipping-and-redemption.

Have you seen on the back of your average grocery store coupon, where it says "Redemption Value: 1/100th of a cent"? There's your ticket to wealth right there! Here's a four-step process to raking in a convulsion-producing amount of money through redeeming all of those grocery store coupons that nobody wants:

1. Gather up at least 5,347,893 coupons worth 1/100th of a cent apiece.

2. Get incorporated as a grocery store; don't be afraid to be creative with the name of your business! Don't settle for "ABC Grocery"; come up with something that will really sound convincing.

3. Send the coupons to the appropriate manufacturers so that you can get the proper credit for each coupon; make sure that the manufacturers make the check out to your new creative grocery store name!

4. Sit back and wait for those fat checks to roll in!!!

Who said that there was no other way to rake in the dough except by making money online? I've just shown you the golden key to offline wealth--so crank up the scissors, my friend!

How a Stupid, Half-Insane IDIOT with Absolutely NO Business Skills, NO Money, NO Friends, and NO Birth Certificate Made BILLIONS from Google AdWords!

That's right! This guy REALLY knows how to make money online!

You won't believe it, and you SHOULDN'T!

But at the same time, you know that deep down, you wish it were true, so that you could believe that there might be some hope for you.

Well, according to the guy that made BILLIONS from Google AdWords, it IS true! And he will tell you himself!

Remember...he's HALF-INSANE!!!

Make Money in 95 Years!!!

I signed up with a company today that enables you to make money reading email...due to Google's AdSense Program Policies I cannot reveal nor promote the name of the program, but suffice it to say, it rhymes with "Slick Fence"...so that will be our code word for this company for the duration of this post.

I found out that you actually get paid one cent for each email advertisement that you view. It's a very simple process...you log in to the site, click a button to begin viewing ads, and as long as the ad remains on your screen for a minimum of 30 seconds, your account is credited with one penny.

I did some simple math on this concept, and found out that the wealth-building potential of "Slick Fence" is mind-boggling. Check this out...

• The company pays you $0.01 for each ad you view, and you can view an ad every 30 seconds, so that's a potential to make 2 cents per minute if you're really cranking these ads out back-to-back.
• Keep this up non-stop for a solid hour, and you've just pocketed $1.20, my friend.
• All you have to do at this point is keep viewing the ads back-to-back without sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom, or any other non-essential activity. This will yield you a whopping $28.80 in a 24-hour period. But...don't head to the Maserati dealership just yet...
• After 95 solid years of doing nothing but clicking on these ads from "Slick Fence" non-stop, and viewing them for at least 30 seconds apiece, you will hit the million-dollar mark in commissions for this admirable feat. So my advice to you is, sign up with "Slick Fence" ASAP, and then get-to-clicking! You can enter into millionaire status by the year 2102!!! Now that's the way to make money online!