Make Money Online While Being Abducted by Aliens

Many of you may have been wondering where I've been all this time. I can assure you that even when you don't hear from me, you can bet your bottom dollar (which, incidentally, you can Paypal to me if you deem it necessary) that I'm making money online in some kind of way. So again, you may wonder why I haven't posted in such a long time. True, I've been busy with the usual blog moneymaking tactics I always employ, but the interesting thing is I've been able to generate online profits even while I was abducted by aliens and taken aboard a UFO recently.

See, let me explain. I have long believed that there was intelligent life on other planets. I just always wondered if they would be interested in giving me their money as well. So, I logged on to the internet and shortly discovered that my every money making move on the Web was being tracked by a rogue gang of aliens from the planet Zorkon, close to Tau Ceti. I found this out because I had recently signed up with Twitter, and they ended up following me on Twitter. Well, long story short, one night while I was making an evening deposit into my massive bank account via the ATM machine, a huge, bright light shone down directly above my car. All of a sudden, I was literally vacuumed up into a saucer-shaped spaceship and taken aboard a real-deal alien spacecraft. I saw rows and rows of sophisticated computer equipment, and I witnessed them working on computers that must have had several terabytes of RAM--really, really fast stuff. One of the aliens offered me some Bar-B-Q Fritos, which I couldn't resist. What I didn't know was that at the point I opened my mouth to consume the Fritos, another alien jammed a Q-tip in my mouth and took a throat culture right there on the spot. They then examined the culture under some type of highly sophisticated computerized microscope. Once they ran several tests and pulled several reports, all in the blink of an eye, I realized that they were ascertaining my money making capabilities directly from my DNA. They also strapped me into a machine and placed electrodes on my head, and performed several brain scans. It was amazing.

Long story short, after much intensive (and yet quick) research, they all agreed that there was no one living on planet Earth today that has more money making ideas and strategies than yours truly. So from now on, when you read this blog about making money online, always remember that I am Zorkonite-approved as the ultimate money making guru of all time.

I Make More Money Online Than John Chow, Darren Rowse, Shoemoney, AND Their Grandmothers Combined

You know, in the world of making money online there are those who stand out from the crowd and those who don't. There are those who have earned a reputation for themselves and those that just make money on the internet behind the scenes. I am more of the latter class than the former. I am the kind of internet marketer that keeps a low profile, but yet quietly racks up more online income than Darren Rowse, Shoemoney, and John Chow all combined, even when you include their respective grandmothers' income on top of that.

So how do I manage to find myself virtually drowning in thousands of $100 bills every week? Very easy...I earn money online through various means, many of which you will have to check the archives to get the full understanding of. The important thing is that I maintain a diversified portfolio of online income generation through various money making means, such as Adsense, affiliate programs, ebooks, lead generation, going insane, selling squid doo-doo, and completely ripping people off with sales copy that promises them hundreds of thousands of dollars a month for the low price of $37.00. It's actually very easy. In the words of P.T. Barnum, "There's a sucker born every minute." Thank God those suckers know where to go to get more of their money taken by savvy internet marketers...that's right, they come HERE.


But stick around and keep reading the archives to get more incredibly incredible information on making money online. Who knows...you may be the next Shoemoney, John Chow, or Darren Rowse, and then I'll be making more money than you too.

Make So Much Money Online That You Vomit $100 Bills!!!

Tired of just making money online with no frills, thrills, or chills? Do you want to know what it's like to have a blog moneymaking extravaganza of monsoonish cash rolling in to your life and literally knocking you flat on your back with a thunderous crash of eardrum-shattering profit-pulling multimillionaire-making typhoonish tsunamish abundance??? Then get in on my plethora of money making secrets. One only has to peruse my blog archives to realize the ridiculous amount of cash manufacturing secrets that are stored in this treasure trove of online revenue generation. Is this blatant self-promotion? Heck yeah. That's how we internet marketers make things happen.

So whether it's making money with AdWords, or using StumbleUpon to make money, or even tweeting yourself to near-insanity while making money with Twitter, you have found the one-stop shop for all of your online education on how to be an internet marketing wondermoneymaker. You wanna know how to keyword stuff? You wanna understand the difference between black hat and white hat techniques? What about top hat techniques? See, you don't even know about that one, do you? That's because the top hat set of SEO strategies is only reserved for the most elite of SEOers. That's a whole other post, for another time. In fact, I may only release those techniques to my current list of 4,563,423,677.33333 RSS subscribers. Who else do you know would anchor the term 4,563,423,677.33333?

So at the end of the day, the only reason why I'm going through this whole promotion is to prove to you that if you stick with the money making techniques I teach, you will eventually make so much money that you will literally vomit $100 bills. Where else can you learn cash-generating techniques that make even your puke worth money? Nuff said.

Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power -- How to Get It

Using Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power Like Your Life Depended on It


If you think you've learned all there is to know about making your blog make money, you're sadly mistaken. There is a whole other realm of money making power that most people have yet to tap into, which if they did, it would propel them into higher levels of consciousness, larger multiple streams of revenue, and insane amounts of hot chicks and studly guys.

This altered realm of consciousness will reveal certain money making secrets that are widely considered absolute mysteries to the average internet marketer, but yet second nature to those who possess the ability to tap into it. I alluded to it a while back in my post about making money online with the law of attraction, but honestly, I didn't even scratch the surface. This power...nay, this FORCE, is known as Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power.

This is a powerful combination of traffic exchange, self-publishing, website flipping, social media marketing, blog monetization, and paid surveys, along with a healthy dose of wealth psychology and the power of Chi to boot. What normally happens is that you relax yourself in the lotus position, assume a calm, meditative posture, and slowly descend and yet ascend into a higher level of super-realistic consciousness where you come to realize that you can only become one with the everything if you completely embrace the nothingness that is actually something.

Once this happens, you are now truly ready to sit down at your computer and blog yourself into online money making insanity as I mentioned in my last post.

How do you ever arrive at such a level? It takes patience, my friend. There is no free lunch. But there will be, however, free money that will absolutely bowl you over with typhoon-like force and torrenting your Paypal account with monstrous profits if you simply follow these simple ways to make money online. Here's to your Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power success!!!