Tuesday, April 29, 2008

How Does a Blog Make Money Online?

How Does a Blog Make Money? The Answer -- No Guts, No Glory

There are a lot of people in the "make money online blogging" world that don't have the slightest clue about how to make a blog make money. As a matter of fact, they wouldn't know a money making blog if it hopped up to them on a pogo stick and slapped them in the left eye with a wet fish. In a previous post I've already given you 5 reasons why your blog sucks and won't make any money and how mine will earn easy money online--it's really simpler than you think.

Of course, since I'm rolling with only the most elite internet marketers in the blogosphere, I share the same testimonial (sworn, mind you) of simply stumbling upon the money making secrets that have turned me into a multi-millionaire, really without even trying. At one point, I pulled in $35,678.65 in three hours from my Paypal account and I don't think I was even breathing. I was going for the Guinness World Record on how long I could hold my breath, and sure enough, while I was setting a new world record (yet another income stream there), my Paypal account balance had jumped over 30 grand in just 3 hours. Now why, you ask, was I trying to break a breath-holding world record? Simple, my friend...when you have so much money that you simply don't know what to do with your time, and everything is boring to you, you have nothing left to do but set world records in obscure categories.

All of this is leading me to this point: If you really want to make big cash online, you have to be bold enough and brave enough to do whatever it takes to get the job done. I already told you about the power of using guerrilla money making tactics to earn money online. While I'm thinking about it, if you want a quick primer on everything you need to know to create multiple revenue streams online, simply browse through the archives of this site and feast upon the savory hunks of money making wisdom that spatter from my spittle. If you do this, you will not only gain priceless knowledge, but it will also help me to not have to disguise the extremely obvious deep linking I'm doing with this post.

It doesn't matter what method you choose to make cash online--it can be through an ebook marketing plan (boy are THOSE lucrative), free paid surveys, electronic publishing, squid doo-doo peddling, various internet marketing services, or simply long tail keyword stuffing such as what I'm doing right now. The common denominator to all of this is the fact that if you don't summon the courage to make big money online, you're going to fail.

So how do you get this courage? I recommend you do one thing and one thing only: Make a list of 20 things you need to do to summon this courage, and then go out and DO 'EM!!! Go get 'em! Don't hand me any excuses, just do it!

If you feel like my instructions are vague, ambiguous, and mostly useless, you have just entered the realm of the ultimate internet marketing gurus. That's all you have to do to continue to reap massive online profits in whatever home based business you choose! Simply create an ebook that gives out instructions that almost NO ONE can follow, promise the whole world but then deliver a cupcake, and then set it all up through Clickbank to really make it happen. Once you do this, you will truly know the satisfaction of seeing your blog make money online!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

How to Make Money Online by Getting 150,000 RSS Subscribers

Making Money Online by Getting Astronomical Amounts of RSS Subscribers

In the Web 2.0 world of blogging to make money online, RSS subscribers seem to be the Holy Grail of measurements as to whether or not you have achieved online success. This being the case, you can see by my Feedburner count on the sidebar that I have already attained a ridiculously extreme amount of success in making money on the Web. "How can I be sure that you didn't tweak those numbers, Phil?" The answer is real simple: Remember...it has to be real if it's on the Internet!

So how did I go about collecting these 4,563,423,677.33333 feed readers? The answer is not as complex as you would like to think. As a matter of fact, this post is only going to deal with obtaining 150,000 subscribers, a mere fraction of the amount of readers I have obtained. I'm cutting you a MASSIVE break as far as the numbers are concerned; if you can't do this, you really should give up trying to make money online...you obviously don't have what it takes.

Before I delve into the master secret to explosive RSS success, let me emphasize that this is one of the most revered cash cows in the internet marketing world, and for good reason. Can taking online surveys make money like this? Seriously doubt it. Can you go the MMORPG route and make more money with Runescape than you can with this? Quite possibly, if you're a supernaturally hyper freak who doesn't sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom, and all you do is stay on the internet 24/7, then you may one day outrun the runaway profits that I am generating through my passive-income-generating list of RSS subscribers. These are confident claims, I know, but I have the proof to back it up. And if you follow my step-by-step instructions on how to do it yourself, you will experience the same earthquake-induced tsunami of online profits that I enjoy every day!

So let's get to it...

Play-by-Play Instructions on How to Knock an Automatic-Profit-Generating Home Run and Create a Touchdown of Cash-Generating RSS Subscribers That Will Give You a Slam Dunk of Stanley-Cup-Winning Residual Income!

Step 1: Sign up for 50,000 different Google accounts, using a different email address with each one.

Step 2: Sign up for 50,000 different Yahoo accounts, using a different email address with each one.

Step 3: Sign up for 50,000 different MSN accounts, using a different email address with each one.

What's this? I hear you whining about how much "work" this is? Do you want to make money on the Web or what? If you're a gutless wimp, then let's just stop here, but if you have a dream, and you want to see your dreams of making massive money online come true, then you're going to have to do exactly what I'm teaching you, no shortcuts. Losers whine. Winners get 150,000 email accounts.

Step 4: Subscribe to your blog in the feed reader of every single account. Every single one!!! Again, do you want to make serious money on the internet, or do you just want to talk the talk?

Step 5: Congratulations! You now have 150,000 RSS subscribers. According to the Web 2.0 gurus that dominate the "blogging to make money online" scene, the common valuation of each RSS subscriber is about $30.00, so my friend, you have just created a blog that's worth at least 4.5 MILLION dollars!!!

Now, this next step is for the true internet marketing ninjas only. Proceed with caution...

Step 6: Find someone who is brand new to the make money online blogging niche and flip the blog to them for 8 MILLION DOLLARS. It should be easy to get this done if you post the sale on Sitepoint.com.

That's all there really is to it...so what are you waiting for? Get off your butt, dust yourself off, and go really make money online with the big dogs!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Make HIDEOUS Amounts of Money as a Clickbank Super-Affiliate!

If you're not aware of the money making power of Clickbank, you must be a mental midget. I've been known to pull down some serious chingy in milliseconds with Clickbank. On one occasion, Commission Junction called me and told me to please stop forcing their employees to work overtime just to keep up all of the affiliate commissions they owe me. Upon their request, I did what any reasonable human being would do...I refused.

In a previous post I covered how I raked in $3,452,768.33333333334 in affilate sales on Clickbank, and how easy it is to make millions online with Clickbank. Please don't let anyone tell you that this stuff is hard...if you have to work to make money online, you don't even know what you're doing. I know how to bring in massive online profits even when I purposefully suspend my own heartbeat, much like a ninja.

But my intent with this post was not to just sit around and brag about my own superior money making skills; I wanted to give every one of you "little guys" a chance to experience the same success that I have enjoyed for months & months now. All it takes is just a little knowledge of the "nuts & bolts" of how Clickbank operates, and the rest is gravy. So, without further adieu...

A Nuts & Bolts, Step-by-Step, Play-by-Play, Moment-by-Moment, Second-by-Second Guide to Clickbank Affiliate Riches

Step 1: Although I've already covered this in my other post about making millions with Clickbank, it bears repeating here: Go to http://www.clickbank.com/ and register with a username & password.

Step 2: Think of a digital product that you would like to create. Some type of ebook, software, or other downloadable item that you could sell for MILLIONS. I would help you with some suggestions, but in the long run that won't be beneficial, as you need to harness your own creative energies to really do this right.

Step 3: You've got your product? Great. Now, put it in a digital format. If it was an ebook that you envisioned, create a PDF ebook out of your idea. If it was software, go to a technical college, get a degree in software engineering , and then create your software from scratch. You see the trend here? It's all about personal initiative. You can DO IT!!!

Step 4: Now design an affiliate program around your product. How, you ask? Look...if you're still asking stupid questions like "How?"...I'm sorry to tell you, but you're not ready to make any real money on the internet. Think Nike, people--Just Do It!

Step 5: Load your product onto Clickbank, set the sale price for something that ends in a "7" (i.e., $37 or $47 or better yet $97), and promote the CRAP out of it through various affiliate networks.

Once these steps are done, if you're not able to sit back in a lounge chair on the beach with a laptop on your lap and watch an AVALANCHE OF CASH roll your way, you obviously did something very wrong, my friend. Retrace your steps and see where the "missing link" is. Otherwise, you should me making money online so effortlessly, you'll almost have to pay someone to sit in the lounge chair and get bowled over by piles of cash FOR YOU while you run for your life from the whirlwind cyclone of money that'll be chasing you down!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Make Money Online -- Even on Earth Day!

Make Environmentally Friendly Money Online on Earth Day

For those who are not in the know about making money online while "going green", I thought I would write this post to enlighten you.

Nowadays it is a financially and socially viable trend to "go green" while carrying on your regular internet marketing business. Dude, if you don't know how to pull down killer online profits while keeping peace with Mother Nature, you're freakin' clueless.

The first step to making this happen is to realize that money itself is green. This should thrill you to no end, because the next conclusion you can draw is this: The more you make money online, the more you go green! Think about it: You are actually helping the environment by raking in insanely killer profits using my money making secrets as discussed in previous posts.

Now I don't personally know if the paper that money is printed on is recyclable, but to a certain degree that has to be true. Think about it: If you buy an ebook from me, purchase one of my affiliate products, or Paypal me a ton of cash for my latest internet marketing strategies, you have just given me money that I can now use to go buy something else! How much more environmentally responsible can you get??!!??

I don't see how this can't be a win-win-win for everyone. You win because you just purchased some life-altering money making secrets that are sure to make you thousands of dollars in mere nanoseconds with absolutely NO WORK involved...I win because I receive tons of money from you and many others...and finally, Mother Nature wins because we're circulating more environmentally-friendly money into the ecosystem!

So what are you waiting for??? Buy all of my affiliate products, and help save the Earth by making money online!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Make Money Online Faster Than a Bowlegged Squirrel on Crack!

Making Money Online at a Rapid and Even Rabid Pace

That's right, folks! I have just developed yet another money making system that can take anyone from being a complete worthless LOSER that deserves to be dragged out in the street, shot 49 times, and thrown off a CLIFF into a mega-cool WINNER that rakes in so much money online, they'll be able to wipe their DOG'S BUTT with hundred-dollar bills!!!

Trust me when I say, this is different than many of the systems and methods I have detailed in past posts, such as the S.M.A.R.T. way to make money online, or the I. D.O.N.T. S.U.C.K. method of making money online. This system doesn't even have an acronym! It uses a combination of associate programs, affiliate programs, blog tips, some miscellaneous quotes from Derek Gehl, and some semi-vague references to working from home. It is a hodgepodge of sorts, but always remember that VARIETY is what is needed to make big money online.

So here's the basic layout of my super-secret cash making system:

1. Call the Better Business Bureau and ask them to grant you immunity to any complaints about your online business.

2. Join practically every affiliate program you can find. I don't care if it's an associate program that sells cat doo-doo, it's worth its salt if you value diversification.

3. Run a Google AdWords campaign on the phrase "make money online at the beach while sitting in a lawn chair with your laptop", and then make sure to link to Perry Marshall.

4. Monetize the above three steps by installing StatCounter, tracing each search visitor's IP address, back-tracing their phone numbers through a paid phone tracing service, cold calling every search visitor one-by-one, and asking them to buy your affiliate products that you were pushing through your AdWords campaign.

If you can't see the ridiculously HUGE potential of such money making secrets as described above, you must be a schizophrenic brain-dead dimwit!!!

Now, some people have claimed that these methods are borderline "black hat", but I tend to disagree. I haven't worn a black hat in years, so this could not be possible. They are simply "out of the box" methods that small-minded non-success-minded people will never be able to accept or grasp, simply for the fact that these people don't have a clue about making money online. So don't let the simplicity of these methods fool you...put them to work and see if you don't start making big money online like me!!!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Make Money Online with Squidoo and Squid Doo-Doo!

Make Disturbing Amounts of Money Online with Squidoo and Squid Doo-Doo!

Versatility is an important component of making money online. You have to be ready to flow with the times, and when the winds of change start blowing, you better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone.

It's tough to navigate the murky waters of the online money making world. What monetization models should you choose? Should you try pay-per-click or pay-per-lead marketing? Should you become an expert in search engine optimization or should you just do an all-out onslaught of traffic-attacking techniques such as AdWords and affiliate marketing? All of these models have their strong points and weak points, and they all have their pros and cons. What's an internet marketer to do?

For the thinking entrepreneur, you don't want to get into any programs or techniques that cost a lot of money up-front. The ideal scenario is to go with something that can produce multiple streams of income with no out-of-pocket cost. There is such an ideal opportunity available in a website known as Squidoo. Squidoo is a website founded by famed marketer and blogger Seth Godin. The basic premise of the website is that users are allowed to create one-page portals known as "lenses" about whatever topic they choose. Squidoo posts Google AdSense ads on the lenses, and then when visitors click on the ads, Squidoo splits the revenue 50/50 with the lens makers (also known as "lensmasters").

This is HUGE. This is BIG. This is freakin' GARGANTUAN. What you don't realize is that there are NO LIMITS to the amount of lenses you can make. Just think...if you only made 2 cents off every lens you made per month, you would only need to make 50 million lenses to clear $1 million dollars a month!!!

Now imagine what you could do with a passive income of one million dollars a month. You could finally take that vacation you've been dreaming about. You can buy 3 Bentleys a month. You could finally tell that obnoxious boss of yours that he can stick it where the sun don't shine--you're making big money online now, and he can take this job and shove it! Fire your boss! Be your own boss! Hire yourself! Downsize your boss! Awaken the giant within! Seize the day! Keep off the grass!!!!!

So what are you waiting on? Let's get to lensmaking!!!

But wait--there's another method of generating multiple revenue streams that's even more exclusive and more secretive than making money with Squidoo lenses. It's only known by the upper echelon of internet marketers, and it deals in the more exotic circles of making money online. It's a dirty business, but it pays huge profits. It's more than just some sideline business that will help you to earn extra income; this thing will give you the money that's only enjoyed by the privileged few at the top of the economic food chain.

What am I referring to?

I'm talking about making money online selling squid doo-doo.

This is not to be mistaken for making money online with Squidoo. This is selling the actual defacation of a squid. This is high-dollar stuff. "Squid crapping", as it's known, is fast becoming one of the hottest and most viable business models ever to hit the internet marketing scene. Using a niche-store-generating software complete with a live data feed, merchant account and shopping cart module, you can market bags of squid doo-doo in various sizes and weights, as a gag gift, or as a form of specialized fertilizer, or even as an accessory in various art installations that are much too highbrow for the average art gallery patron.

"Can I really make money online with squid doo-doo?", you ask. Does a bear crap in the woods? Does a squid crap in the water? The answer, my friend, is in the question.

You will have to concentrate on finding good wholesale suppliers of squid crap, and this is the most time-consuming part. You will more than likely need to go overseas to get a respectable supplier with a decent profit margin. But, once you do, it's a veritable cash cow for the discerning entrepreneur. I will eventually provide a list of wholesale squid doo-doo suppliers in an ebook that I'm putting together--once it's done I'll market it through an affiliate program for $197.00 each. So stay tuned for the latest updates on this project.

Hopefully I have opened your eyes to the plethora of online profits that await you both with Squidoo and, ironically, squid doo-doo. Now go forth and make money online as only a squid fan can!!!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Using Long Tail Keywords to Make Money Online

Keyword research is an absolute must if you want to make big money online. Using the right type of keyword research is a key component of search engine optimization (SEO). There are different types of keywords, but they fall into five main categories:

(1) Keywords that are directly related to and contain your topic (short tail keywords),

(2) Keywords that are somewhat related to your topic but don't necessarily directly mention your topic (long tail keywords),

(3) Keywords that once were thought to be related to your topic (dog tail keywords),

(4) Keywords that are looking for a topic (whale tail keywords), and

(5) Keywords that are no longer keywords at all (blank tail keywords).

As you can see, this is a vast subject, so we will stick with two of the most profitable types of keywords, the short tail and long tail keywords.

Short tail keywords are a given. They are simply the exact word for whatever someone may be searching for on the internet. If someone was looking for a cell phone to buy, a short tail keyword that they might type into a search engine is "cell phone"; a pretty obvious choice. But the long tail keywords, however, are much more profitable, because they tell the search engine that you REALLY know your stuff.

To come up with some long tail keywords, it will take some serious brainstorming. It's not the easiest internet marketing strategy to implement, but nonetheless, it can yield some serious multiple revenue streams once you take advantage of it.

So how do you come up with long tail keywords? A good (and almost obvious) starting point would be to think of any type of thing that has a long tail. When you do this, several different types of animals should immediately come to mind. My first thought was the monkey. It has quite a long and useful tail, which is actually also known as a prehensile tail. There are several ideas that can come to your mind to monetize monkeys. You can do a monkey training website, or even a site about how to make money with Jane Goodall. The possibilities are truly endless!

Other long tail keywords that can get top billing in the search engines include lizards, rats, alligators, squirrels, and even cats. There are a ton of associate programs and affiliate networks that offer money making products for these keywords. Use caution, however: Only stick to animals that truly have long tails, not just any kind of tail. Bobcats just recently got the Google slap due to the shortness of their tails.

Probably one of the most solid money makers I know of is the snake. If you really think about it, the snake is almost entirely one big tail. How long is the snake's tail? Nobody really knows...it would almost seem like the tail begins as soon as the head stops. But does that mean that a snake has no neck? As you can see, these questions could go on and on...but for the sake of this post, just keep in mind that "snake" as a keyword is a long tail money maker for sure.

I have given you guys only a small sample of the blog monetization potential that is available using long tail keywords. Now is the time for you to take action and put these wealth building, money making secrets to work. All hail the long tail!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Make Money Online with a 3-Month Old Baby

So you thought Carl Ocab was awesome just because he knows how to make money online as a 13-year-old kid? Well, I've got a news flash for you, Walter Kronkite. In the world of us underground internet marketers who are really "in the know", Carl is a dinosaur.

This post will answer the age-old question "Can kids make money?" Well, here's your answer: Not only kids, but toddlers, and yes...even infants.

One small example: You remember the story in the Bible (Matthew 2:11) where the wise men brought Jesus all kinds of gold, frankincense and myrrh? He was only TWO YEARS OLD when this was happening, folks. He was making money as a toddler!

Now I know you say "Well, that was Jesus, the Son of God; of course He's going to make money." Well, it's not just limited to that. Think of how many kids are born into multi-million-dollar fortunes, or even billion-dollar fortunes! They're making money right off the bat! So please, no more excuses!

But I know what you're thinking..."What about making money on the internet?" You see, my friend...that's where the true stealth bomb secret of infantile cash inundation resides. I know of a 3-month-old baby that's kicking tail with pay-per-click marketing. He's making money with affilate programs such as Babies-R-Us and Pacifier Depot. Rumor has it he's pulling down $15,000 a month after AdWords expenses. Hey, don't hate, just congratulate.

This post should forever settle the fact that kids can make money online too. Don't let any of these fancy teenage Web 2.0 bloggers fool you...there's big bucks with the Barney crowd too!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Make Money Online with Web 2.0, Web 3.0, Web 4.5, and Web 347.2

Make Money Online Using Web 2.0 and WAYYY More...

Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past two years, you should know that the hottest way to make money online is with all of the new Web 2.0 technologies, such as social media marketing. If you can't Stumble Upon a way to Digg through what you've Reddit, then you'll Furl on some serious Del.icio.us Technorati-cal ways to Sphinn your Propeller.

Although I have done previous posts on some classical methods like using eBay to make money, there are tons of opportunities to make money online with some of the newer technologies that are available, a la Web 2.0. That's right, if you ain't hip to the newest Wordpress themes and plugins that are available, you don't know squat about making money on the internet. As a matter of fact, I almost feel like a pathetic doofus for using a Blogspot blog because they're so passe. I am obviously not cool enough yet to rake in the dough with the big dogs, so I'll just wallow in my Web 0.5 sorrow.

Sometimes when I think about the way that Web 2.0 has revolutionized internet marketing, I get a little peeved because I feel like I just can't catch up with all the new blogging resources that are available. So, instead of trying to follow the path that the Web 2.0'ers have made, I'm blazing my own trail--that's right, I'm kicking it up a notch like Emeril.

Make Money Online with Web 3.0--Screw Web 2.0!!!

One of the first monetization models I'll be rolling out is...yes, none other than Web 3.0. Just as Web 2.0 is all about social bookmarking, Web 3.0 is about social book-binding. The way it works is simple: You can become a bookbinding vendor for all of your friends' writing projects! Many of us know people who are trying to earn extra income through writing books, but they lack the technical expertise to get the job done. But that's where you come in. You'll take whatever writing project they have, get it paginated and saddle-stitched in two shakes of a lamb's tail, and the next thing you know, you're creating yet another stream of income for yourself!

Make Money Online with Web 4.5--Another Step Forward

Just like Web 3.0 is a model that blows the doors off of Web 2.0, I have actually unearthed a money making method known as Web 4.5--get ready now, because here's where the true internet marketing ninjas get their kicks.

For this reason, I can only reveal a very minute detail about Web 4.5, and it's simply this: Web 4.5 is such an improvement on Web 2.0, that it's actually DOUBLE of what Web 2.0 is, plus an extra 0.5 on top of it! This guarantees you to have double the online profits you would normally have. And in the case of internet marketing gurus like myself, that equals to about half of America's total Gross National Product.

But I haven't even enlightened you to one of the true money making strategies that have propelled me to online revenue generation greatness. It's the ultimate tool in my arsenal...and I call it:

Web 347.2!!!

Making money online with Web 347.2 is reserved for the most elite internet marketers only. You may find hints of it in various ebooks being sold on eBay, or in the latest affiliate program. Social media marketing can't even touch what these money making techniques can to. They are as unstable as plutonium, yet subtle as the wind. Put these strategies into the wrong hands, and you've got yourself a nuclear fallout. This is why I cannot disclose these money making secrets on this post. Just suffice it to say...they're bad to the bone. The world is simply not ready yet.

So, for the general safety and welfare of the public, I will stick to the strategies that employ Web 4.5 and below to make money online. Maybe one day society will have advanced enough for me to reveal them, but until them, I will continue to rake in the online profits behind the curtain.