I Make More Money Online Than John Chow, Darren Rowse, Shoemoney, AND Their Grandmothers Combined

You know, in the world of making money online there are those who stand out from the crowd and those who don't. There are those who have earned a reputation for themselves and those that just make money on the internet behind the scenes. I am more of the latter class than the former. I am the kind of internet marketer that keeps a low profile, but yet quietly racks up more online income than Darren Rowse, Shoemoney, and John Chow all combined, even when you include their respective grandmothers' income on top of that.

So how do I manage to find myself virtually drowning in thousands of $100 bills every week? Very easy...I earn money online through various means, many of which you will have to check the archives to get the full understanding of. The important thing is that I maintain a diversified portfolio of online income generation through various money making means, such as Adsense, affiliate programs, ebooks, lead generation, going insane, selling squid doo-doo, and completely ripping people off with sales copy that promises them hundreds of thousands of dollars a month for the low price of $37.00. It's actually very easy. In the words of P.T. Barnum, "There's a sucker born every minute." Thank God those suckers know where to go to get more of their money taken by savvy internet marketers...that's right, they come HERE.


But stick around and keep reading the archives to get more incredibly incredible information on making money online. Who knows...you may be the next Shoemoney, John Chow, or Darren Rowse, and then I'll be making more money than you too.

I Made $45,342.53 in ONE DAY on MySpace!!!

Ninety percent of making money online is attitude; the other half is skill. Some would like to believe that luck is involved in making tons of money online, but I greatly disagree. I even have the online income to prove it. Luck is a fantasy word. The true internet marketer or online entrepreneur doesn't depend on luck; they depend on a random chance occurrence that arbitrarily brings them into good fortune. There's a big difference.

Having become a master of online revenue generation myself, I can now share with you how "the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer". I have learned so many different money making secrets on how to generate online income, that now I am a multi-millionaire with multiple revenue streams to my credit. One of these streams was created just yesterday while I was on MySpace, blogging about how horrible Ashlee Simpson's outfit in People magazine was.

Yep, I made $45,342.53 yesterday, within a 1-hour period, while I was on MySpace!!! How did I do it, you ask? The process was very simple, and completely repeatable. Here's the basic overview of how it was done:

1. As I said earlier, I simply logged on to MySpace as usual and started blogging about celebrity drama like many MySpacers do.

2. While I was logged on, I left the computer for a few minutes and walked down the street to a local convenience store.

3. I bought 3 lottery tickets, the kind with the cool scratch-off games.

4. I scratched off a winning combination and WON $45,342.33 just like that!!!

5. I cashed in my winnings, returned home, and continued blogging on MySpace, fully aware of my extraordinary capability to attract money and success no matter what I do.

Now as you can tell, this is a very repeatable system for anyone else looking to create online income with a minimal amount of real work. All it takes is a little elbow grease, some determination, and the directions to the nearest convenience store. Now go and get 'em, and make cash with the rest of them!

Make So Much Money Online That You Vomit $100 Bills!!!

Tired of just making money online with no frills, thrills, or chills? Do you want to know what it's like to have a blog moneymaking extravaganza of monsoonish cash rolling in to your life and literally knocking you flat on your back with a thunderous crash of eardrum-shattering profit-pulling multimillionaire-making typhoonish tsunamish abundance??? Then get in on my plethora of money making secrets. One only has to peruse my blog archives to realize the ridiculous amount of cash manufacturing secrets that are stored in this treasure trove of online revenue generation. Is this blatant self-promotion? Heck yeah. That's how we internet marketers make things happen.

So whether it's making money with AdWords, or using StumbleUpon to make money, or even tweeting yourself to near-insanity while making money with Twitter, you have found the one-stop shop for all of your online education on how to be an internet marketing wondermoneymaker. You wanna know how to keyword stuff? You wanna understand the difference between black hat and white hat techniques? What about top hat techniques? See, you don't even know about that one, do you? That's because the top hat set of SEO strategies is only reserved for the most elite of SEOers. That's a whole other post, for another time. In fact, I may only release those techniques to my current list of 4,563,423,677.33333 RSS subscribers. Who else do you know would anchor the term 4,563,423,677.33333?

So at the end of the day, the only reason why I'm going through this whole promotion is to prove to you that if you stick with the money making techniques I teach, you will eventually make so much money that you will literally vomit $100 bills. Where else can you learn cash-generating techniques that make even your puke worth money? Nuff said.

Make Serious Money Online by Being Extremely Serious

I have already covered the importance of intensity in your blog moneymaking endeavors. I have also covered the importance of not being conventional in your cash generating tactics (see my previous post for more on that one). One thing that I have failed to touch on as of yet is the importance of being serious when you're making money online. Although I've been known to be somewhat of a prankster, a joker, a space cowboy, and even the Gangster of Love (that's what some call me anyway), I take my online business very seriouser than most.

In order for you to make serious money online, you have to be extremely serious. There's no way around it. This is very similar to the concept of making asinine money online by creating asinine content (gloobeefoobie, anyone?). If you have noticed a trend here, or if this post seems to be a slightly altered version of the previous post, that's because it is. I am simply creating content that basically boils down to stupid crap, all designed to either make you laugh or bore you to tears. Either way it goes, I win, because at the end of the day, only a serious internet marketer such as myself would even have the courage to attempt such a thing. And again, it takes a serious person to even give something like this a try.

Here's the paragraph where I utilize long tail keywords such as online money making tips, multiple streams of income, earn money, and e books. This is an essential part of my butt-kicking SEO skills, which also require great seriousivity. If you're not ready to be as serious as a heart attack, a nervous system failure, or even a chain reaction of exploding brain cells, you're not ready to earn money online.

So how do you get this serious? Well, there's two primary ways you can get it done:

1. Ask one of your friends to take a baseball bat and whack you on the head very hard one good time. Ask him to aim for the left-rear section of your head. This should affect the area of your brain that regulates seriousness, thereby making you incapable of entertaining non-serious thoughts.

2. Ask another friend (or, heck, maybe the same one) to inject you with sodium pentathol (a.k.a. truth serum). This should eliminate all sarcasm, snappy comebacks, and humor-based statements, stripping away all aspects of communication that could cause you to not be serious, leaving only the capability for you to be serious.

Now that you have a large knot on your head and dope in your system, you're finally able to really focus on making money online. Don't hand me no wuss crap about how much the baseball bat hurt or that you "don't like needles"; you have to learn how to stop at nothing in your determination to make your blog make money. After all, that's what serious internet marketers do.

Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power -- How to Get It

Using Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power Like Your Life Depended on It


If you think you've learned all there is to know about making your blog make money, you're sadly mistaken. There is a whole other realm of money making power that most people have yet to tap into, which if they did, it would propel them into higher levels of consciousness, larger multiple streams of revenue, and insane amounts of hot chicks and studly guys.

This altered realm of consciousness will reveal certain money making secrets that are widely considered absolute mysteries to the average internet marketer, but yet second nature to those who possess the ability to tap into it. I alluded to it a while back in my post about making money online with the law of attraction, but honestly, I didn't even scratch the surface. This power...nay, this FORCE, is known as Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power.

This is a powerful combination of traffic exchange, self-publishing, website flipping, social media marketing, blog monetization, and paid surveys, along with a healthy dose of wealth psychology and the power of Chi to boot. What normally happens is that you relax yourself in the lotus position, assume a calm, meditative posture, and slowly descend and yet ascend into a higher level of super-realistic consciousness where you come to realize that you can only become one with the everything if you completely embrace the nothingness that is actually something.

Once this happens, you are now truly ready to sit down at your computer and blog yourself into online money making insanity as I mentioned in my last post.

How do you ever arrive at such a level? It takes patience, my friend. There is no free lunch. But there will be, however, free money that will absolutely bowl you over with typhoon-like force and torrenting your Paypal account with monstrous profits if you simply follow these simple ways to make money online. Here's to your Blog Moneymaking Wonder-Force Power success!!!