Make Money Online While Being Abducted by Aliens

Many of you may have been wondering where I've been all this time. I can assure you that even when you don't hear from me, you can bet your bottom dollar (which, incidentally, you can Paypal to me if you deem it necessary) that I'm making money online in some kind of way. So again, you may wonder why I haven't posted in such a long time. True, I've been busy with the usual blog moneymaking tactics I always employ, but the interesting thing is I've been able to generate online profits even while I was abducted by aliens and taken aboard a UFO recently.

See, let me explain. I have long believed that there was intelligent life on other planets. I just always wondered if they would be interested in giving me their money as well. So, I logged on to the internet and shortly discovered that my every money making move on the Web was being tracked by a rogue gang of aliens from the planet Zorkon, close to Tau Ceti. I found this out because I had recently signed up with Twitter, and they ended up following me on Twitter. Well, long story short, one night while I was making an evening deposit into my massive bank account via the ATM machine, a huge, bright light shone down directly above my car. All of a sudden, I was literally vacuumed up into a saucer-shaped spaceship and taken aboard a real-deal alien spacecraft. I saw rows and rows of sophisticated computer equipment, and I witnessed them working on computers that must have had several terabytes of RAM--really, really fast stuff. One of the aliens offered me some Bar-B-Q Fritos, which I couldn't resist. What I didn't know was that at the point I opened my mouth to consume the Fritos, another alien jammed a Q-tip in my mouth and took a throat culture right there on the spot. They then examined the culture under some type of highly sophisticated computerized microscope. Once they ran several tests and pulled several reports, all in the blink of an eye, I realized that they were ascertaining my money making capabilities directly from my DNA. They also strapped me into a machine and placed electrodes on my head, and performed several brain scans. It was amazing.

Long story short, after much intensive (and yet quick) research, they all agreed that there was no one living on planet Earth today that has more money making ideas and strategies than yours truly. So from now on, when you read this blog about making money online, always remember that I am Zorkonite-approved as the ultimate money making guru of all time.

Make Serious Money Online by Being Extremely Serious

I have already covered the importance of intensity in your blog moneymaking endeavors. I have also covered the importance of not being conventional in your cash generating tactics (see my previous post for more on that one). One thing that I have failed to touch on as of yet is the importance of being serious when you're making money online. Although I've been known to be somewhat of a prankster, a joker, a space cowboy, and even the Gangster of Love (that's what some call me anyway), I take my online business very seriouser than most.

In order for you to make serious money online, you have to be extremely serious. There's no way around it. This is very similar to the concept of making asinine money online by creating asinine content (gloobeefoobie, anyone?). If you have noticed a trend here, or if this post seems to be a slightly altered version of the previous post, that's because it is. I am simply creating content that basically boils down to stupid crap, all designed to either make you laugh or bore you to tears. Either way it goes, I win, because at the end of the day, only a serious internet marketer such as myself would even have the courage to attempt such a thing. And again, it takes a serious person to even give something like this a try.

Here's the paragraph where I utilize long tail keywords such as online money making tips, multiple streams of income, earn money, and e books. This is an essential part of my butt-kicking SEO skills, which also require great seriousivity. If you're not ready to be as serious as a heart attack, a nervous system failure, or even a chain reaction of exploding brain cells, you're not ready to earn money online.

So how do you get this serious? Well, there's two primary ways you can get it done:

1. Ask one of your friends to take a baseball bat and whack you on the head very hard one good time. Ask him to aim for the left-rear section of your head. This should affect the area of your brain that regulates seriousness, thereby making you incapable of entertaining non-serious thoughts.

2. Ask another friend (or, heck, maybe the same one) to inject you with sodium pentathol (a.k.a. truth serum). This should eliminate all sarcasm, snappy comebacks, and humor-based statements, stripping away all aspects of communication that could cause you to not be serious, leaving only the capability for you to be serious.

Now that you have a large knot on your head and dope in your system, you're finally able to really focus on making money online. Don't hand me no wuss crap about how much the baseball bat hurt or that you "don't like needles"; you have to learn how to stop at nothing in your determination to make your blog make money. After all, that's what serious internet marketers do.