I Make More Money Online Than John Chow, Darren Rowse, Shoemoney, AND Their Grandmothers Combined

You know, in the world of making money online there are those who stand out from the crowd and those who don't. There are those who have earned a reputation for themselves and those that just make money on the internet behind the scenes. I am more of the latter class than the former. I am the kind of internet marketer that keeps a low profile, but yet quietly racks up more online income than Darren Rowse, Shoemoney, and John Chow all combined, even when you include their respective grandmothers' income on top of that.

So how do I manage to find myself virtually drowning in thousands of $100 bills every week? Very easy...I earn money online through various means, many of which you will have to check the archives to get the full understanding of. The important thing is that I maintain a diversified portfolio of online income generation through various money making means, such as Adsense, affiliate programs, ebooks, lead generation, going insane, selling squid doo-doo, and completely ripping people off with sales copy that promises them hundreds of thousands of dollars a month for the low price of $37.00. It's actually very easy. In the words of P.T. Barnum, "There's a sucker born every minute." Thank God those suckers know where to go to get more of their money taken by savvy internet marketers...that's right, they come HERE.


But stick around and keep reading the archives to get more incredibly incredible information on making money online. Who knows...you may be the next Shoemoney, John Chow, or Darren Rowse, and then I'll be making more money than you too.

Make Serious Money Online by Being Extremely Serious

I have already covered the importance of intensity in your blog moneymaking endeavors. I have also covered the importance of not being conventional in your cash generating tactics (see my previous post for more on that one). One thing that I have failed to touch on as of yet is the importance of being serious when you're making money online. Although I've been known to be somewhat of a prankster, a joker, a space cowboy, and even the Gangster of Love (that's what some call me anyway), I take my online business very seriouser than most.

In order for you to make serious money online, you have to be extremely serious. There's no way around it. This is very similar to the concept of making asinine money online by creating asinine content (gloobeefoobie, anyone?). If you have noticed a trend here, or if this post seems to be a slightly altered version of the previous post, that's because it is. I am simply creating content that basically boils down to stupid crap, all designed to either make you laugh or bore you to tears. Either way it goes, I win, because at the end of the day, only a serious internet marketer such as myself would even have the courage to attempt such a thing. And again, it takes a serious person to even give something like this a try.

Here's the paragraph where I utilize long tail keywords such as online money making tips, multiple streams of income, earn money, and e books. This is an essential part of my butt-kicking SEO skills, which also require great seriousivity. If you're not ready to be as serious as a heart attack, a nervous system failure, or even a chain reaction of exploding brain cells, you're not ready to earn money online.

So how do you get this serious? Well, there's two primary ways you can get it done:

1. Ask one of your friends to take a baseball bat and whack you on the head very hard one good time. Ask him to aim for the left-rear section of your head. This should affect the area of your brain that regulates seriousness, thereby making you incapable of entertaining non-serious thoughts.

2. Ask another friend (or, heck, maybe the same one) to inject you with sodium pentathol (a.k.a. truth serum). This should eliminate all sarcasm, snappy comebacks, and humor-based statements, stripping away all aspects of communication that could cause you to not be serious, leaving only the capability for you to be serious.

Now that you have a large knot on your head and dope in your system, you're finally able to really focus on making money online. Don't hand me no wuss crap about how much the baseball bat hurt or that you "don't like needles"; you have to learn how to stop at nothing in your determination to make your blog make money. After all, that's what serious internet marketers do.