Make Money with Your Blog as You Help Me Celebrate My 50th Post!!!
This post will forever stand as a landmark in the arena of making money online. Why, you ask? Because SteadyPhil's Make Money Online Blog has now officially reached 50 posts!!! As a part of the celebration, I wanted to give credit where credit is due--Thanks again to all of my 4,563,423,627.33333 Feed Readers--you guys wouldn't be where you are without me.
The greater part of this celebration, however, is what I will give to all of you, my loyal readership (and any new traffic that Google is generously sending my way, due to my absolute mastery of search engine optimization). I have decided to do something that is rather unique, especially for an internet marketer that pulls in boatloads of cash without even hardly waking up in the morning. I'm going to use this 50th post to give back to the internet marketing community; I'm going to "spill the beans" here and expose some of the most death-defying, all-encompassing, hyper-extending, lethal-weapon-wielding, hyphenated-word-describing money making methods ever known to mankind, and even some select animal species.
But don't let these extremely overly superlatively descriptive words fool you. I'm going to show you my bare-bones, cut-and-dry, to-the-core, no-nonsense traffic generating methods that have allowed me to reach the prestigious level of 8th Degree Google Black Belt. But before I do that, let me first give you a little history.
I had heard from several of the A-list bloggers in the "make money online" niche that you have to write "pillar posts" if you want to really bring in the big bucks and make your blog make money. I mistakenly thought that they were saying "pillow posts", and so I created a blog that described all different types of couch pillows, throw pillows, memory foam pillows, and so forth. I found out quickly that this wasn't the case. They actually meant "PILLAR" posts, as in something that stands as a memorial or a landmark, solid as a rock, like a large column on a big building. I fully intend on this post being one that will go down in history; one that you will one day sit around the fireplace with your grandchildren and recount with a warm sense of joy in your heart. And I can think of no better topic to memorialize in a post than how to increase the amount of incoming traffic to your blog.
So, with that having been said, it's time to make history with...
50 Money Making Ways to Increase Traffic to Your Blog
1. Write letters to all of your friends asking them to visit your website. Include a flyer with your URL printed on it.
2. Hire a pilot to skywrite your URL.
3. Hire another pilot to fly a plane with a trailing banner that has your website printed on it. NOTE: Only use your top-level domain; anything else will be way too long to print on a banner.
4. Climb to the top of a mountain and send smoke signals in the shape of your URL.
5. Send your URL via morse code to all of the submarines in the U.S. Navy. This will hopefully garner those ever-valuable "dot mil" backlinks.
6. Go streaking during the halftime show at your local high school's football game. Make sure to hold up a sign with your URL written on it.
7. Call a meeting with all of the shoeshine boys in your state and tell them to give your URL as the latest "hot internet tip".
8. Go to your local news stations, tell them you were Paris Hilton's boyfriend/girlfriend, and then tell them they can read all about it at your website.
9. Attend the PGA tour, stay within eyeshot of the camera, and hold up a sign with your URL on it, right beside the guy with the "John 3:16" sign.
10. Take a trip to Pedro Escebedo (in Mexico) during Easter, and stand right beside the crying statue of the Virgin Mary holding a sign with your URL printed on it. You'll have thousands of onlookers clamoring to visit your blog.
11. Spray-paint your URL on any famous tourist landmark, such as the Statue of Liberty or the Washington Monument.
12. Hire a pyrotechnics expert to create a bundle of fireworks that will explode into the shape of your URL. Make sure to launch them at the most popular 4th of July fireworks display in your town.
13. Post a suicide note on your blog and then kill yourself. Downside: Can only be done once.
14. Sneak into your local Chinese restaurant and replace their fortune cookies with cookies that all have your URL printed on the paper inside.
15. Stand in the middle of Times Square and hold a sign with your URL printed on it. This is way more effective if you scream expletives the entire time.
16. Become a contestant on "Jeopardy" and write your URL as the answer to the Final Jeopardy clue.
17. Plummet off the edge of Niagra Falls in a kayak with your URL painted on the hull.
18. Become a contestant on "Wheel of Fortune" and shout your URL as the phrase that solves the puzzle.
19. Enter as a contestant on "American Idol" and tell Ryan Seacrest that everyone has to vote for you by visiting your website.
20. Google bomb your URL for the term "Mariah Carey". Easy traffic here.
21. While you're at it, pay Mariah Carey to create a song with your URL in the chorus.
22. Find a way to get a hold of the master copy of the S.A.T. test, and print your URL in the top-right corner. Once the test is mass-distributed, you'll get a TON of teenage traffic.
23. Steal a copy of the President's State of the Union speech, and insert your website address into a couple of key spots. Before he even knows it, he'll be promoting your website to the entire country on national TV!
24. Hire a team of Navy S.E.A.L.s and have them conduct a clandestine operation to break into the home of every person in the U.S. who has a computer, and then have each member of this crack team log on & visit your site. This will give you tons of hits from unique IP's all across the country.
25. Pay Oprah's broadcast producer to insert your URL into the teleprompter text a couple of times. There's no greater traffic magnet than having "Oprah juice".
26. While you're at it, write a 150-page book with nothing but your URL on every page, and then have Oprah promote it to her Book Club.
27. Pay Dr. Wayne Dyer to sprinkle his esoteric spiritual talks with your URL a couple of times. This will help you draw the ever-important personal development traffic.
28. Get John Chow to review your site.
29. Get Darren Rowse of ProBlogger to promote your site on his feed...he's the only person I know with more feed readers than me.
30. While I'm thinking about it, don't forget the basics I taught you a long time ago about linking to ProBlogger. Do this and your traffic is guaranteed.
31. Create list posts, like this one. Don't go for 50, though...this crap is TEDIOUS.
32. Deep link every single word in your make money online posts much like I did with this one.
33. Put your URL as a reference link for every single topic on Wikipedia.
34. Get Google to put a link to your URL on their home page, right under the search bar. Tell them it's for some environmental cause, and you'll be a shoe-in.
35. Do the same for Yahoo.
36. Then do the same for MSN.
37. Convince the U.S. Postal Service to create a stamp with your URL on it. Talk about insane amounts of exposure!
38. Fake your own abduction by a UFO. Leave a note telling everyone that the aliens will only reveal your location through your website.
39. Sponsor a Village People reunion concert and hang a banner behind center stage with your URL plastered all over it. I mentioned the power of the Village People in a previous post about how to make millions online with Clickbank--you would do well to take heed to that advice.
40. Follow the traffic-pulling method I outlined when I talked about about making your blog make money with Shoemoney and John Chow.
41. Go on Dancing with the Stars and wear some tight bell-bottomed slacks with your URL embroidered on both back pockets. Note: This will not work if you are not a star.
42. Convince your local newspaper to edit their crossword puzzle so that every clue spells out your URL.
43. Persuade your local Wal-Mart greeter to wear a hanging sign with your URL printed on it.
44. Work closely with your local Girl Scouts chapter to sell cookies with your URL drizzled on the top in fudge.
45. Convince the CIA to broadcast ultrasonic radio waves giving people the subliminal instruction to visit your website.
46. The next time Paris Hilton goes to jail, be SOMEWHERE near the action, holding a sign with your URL printed on it. You'll get tons of media coverage by default.
47. Legally change your name to your URL. This will force people to think about your website every time they think about you.
48. One word: Spam. No, not the unsolicited commercial email you're thinking of, I'm talking about getting back to the real thing; Create a partnership with Spam (the canned meat product) and ask them to put your URL on their label in exchange for placing a Spam advertising banner on your site.
49. Create your own search engine and have your website listed as number one for every single search result. Check out SteadyPhil's Search Engine as an example.
50. Repeat each of the above steps twice to give you 100 money making ways to generate MAD traffic to your blog!!!
